Aurared

Wishful Alms

2009-11-06T07:52:00.000-08:00

As being we seek
The avarice of human passion
The more is less
The lesser is the greed for more
Complacent if ever…
For a moment
Or a nano second
Other needs evoke…
Lust for power, money and fame.

The need is a cycle…
Above food, shelter and cloths
Above love and physical fervor
An obsession of a mind
An infatuation of a heart
The zeal for godliness
That creates eccentricities
The better going for the best
Then the best going for worse.

The cycle breaks…
Into a fatal chain
As the unwoven beads
Separate from a string
Every caricature laughs at one another
The pun is they shy away
Looking at mirror image of themselves
Their fascination and fixation
Nurtures with every defeat.

As everything is inundated
With every gamble
As a dying hope
Enkindles for a drunken
We are too intoxicated…
To care about how much we lost
Or we staked everything
Life, health and sanity
And everlasting bonding.

Wishful alms are from God
People who seek solace in spirituality
They know that this too churns into…
Money, power and fame
I heard God laughing!

Five Minutes of Love

2009-11-04T12:22:00.000-08:00

Five sugared minutes in the salty crowds,
As random faces give unknowing glance
Out flowing in to shells of wise and proud,
A syrup forms of partial love romance

Not all the sounds of stares receive echoes
Although they might be snared in vacant minds
Whose seeds would wait for our withdrawal to grow
Into a shady tree with ease unwind

But never will its shade digress to own
Soft guilt that falls like snow with blinks of eyes
And if our passing moods are sadly thrown
They will dissolve despairs in true disguise

Those counts of five we give to love a chance
And witness how to hours their beats advance

I Wait, Yet Alone

2009-11-04T12:18:00.000-08:00

None beside me had to wait
Everyone was passing by
I loved the very state
It was raining from the sky

It was cold and a sweet scent
I sat down beyond a lonely tree
The pitter patters that rain sent
I heard, none cared to see

Everyone Running Somewhere
I suddenly smiled for nothing
They liked the way I stare
And Robins began to sing

Nobody, just me, just this rain
And it reminded something deep
As clouds gathered, a cruel pain
I looked away, I was to weep

And questions again fogging my brain
With passers by now almost gone
I have this strange feeling again
I can’t take it, not when I’m alone.

Rain was hiding my tears,
I was crying, like every day,
Sad, As rain so appears,
And my pain gets in the way

I felt many a rain drop
My heart started to pound
I felt like it’s going to stop
Rain, Oh! How sad does it sound?

I lay down, with everyone gone,
Wishes I do have some
I wait yet alone,
Knowing She will not come.

It is dawn

2009-11-04T12:17:00.000-08:00

Today. I am with myself.
I know what I want to know.
I spell, I see magic.
Glimpsing is the sun now, he smiles.
I am alight, I am alive!
Chattering birds now hear me.
I sing with the singing blues.

It is dawn.
I found a rose in old pages.
I kiss now the dew drops, embracing the roses.
Thorns flew away.
I bath now, Ah, Lord poured some showers to bath the essence.
I dance at the whistle of trees.
Leaves are back.

Flying now on the wings of a butterfly.
Gliding now with the dark blue ceiling, and the glittering sand, the floor.
The moon now drops, and desert sand wraps itself around it.
Stars fall into the still lone waters.
The waters are alive again.!

Flower petals tumble on the blue skies.

I dream but I am awake.
Dream, it is all a heaven's dream.
It is dawn.

Today, I laugh. I float.
It is dawn.
.........

My Past, My Possession

2009-11-04T12:15:00.000-08:00

They say, forget the past and live on,
For the past is nothing but a grave.
That shall reap no good,
But agonise and destruct the brave.
But I ask them, how can I forget,
What has happened to torment?
And resume as if nothing had happened.
The past is my possession, something which I own,
How can I just let it go?
It is something that has led me to where I am,
How can I let it dethrone.
Today, I am here,
And yet the past is my shadow.
Tomorrow where I shall be, I do not know,
But it’s the past that has lived with me and shall live with me, until I go.
All my bliss and all my ecstasy,
Lives in my past
But I also cannot deny,
That over my pain and my sufferings, it has its cast.
It’s my past that I live with,
Which makes me happy and makes me grief,
And I shall live by it,
Until my last breath cedes.

A Sightless Explorer

2009-10-31T10:21:00.000-07:00

She, an anonymous Inheritor of mighty fervour

Riding on the bank of autumnal blue river;

Today, sky has wrapped up with triumphing blue

Rain commands the universe with Heaven’s wide bow

She gently hopes for nurseling their composed charm

Seeing some scattering sprinkle of receding rain on greenery grass

Quite breathing of wetly field wreathing on heavenly high

Stretches her fluttering wings to love the fresh fluffy sky

Adventuresome stretchy touches adore the youngest hue-

Dear rainbow behind engrossed whitish clouds that is new

Shivering foliage kiss her zealous spirit in innocent being

Pouring upon mass warmth of her courage’s brink

Gathering clouds on soft-lifting winnowing wind

Weaving far on airy top in mighty brimming fear

Her touch might spoil their delicate rosy blossoms

But she? still in the weaving grasp of wafting perfume

Her sprightly heart was towered tall

Thirsty faith went strong for a friendlier call

Lot of dreams lulling in her sanguine dream

Everything shines bright in her sightless solemn realm

Dancing Angels

2009-10-31T05:54:00.000-07:00

With every passing moment
Heart skipped a beat
While life took a step ahead
Melting in the arms of time

Neither the time turned back
Nor did the life
Preachers preached to move on
While the learners kept on learning…

Swift motions
On the rhythmic beats
Dancing Angels
In a close dance
On the floor of time and life
Lost somewhere
:
:
Between
:
:
The way it is and
The way it could have been

A Simple Wish

2009-10-31T05:53:00.000-07:00

The world dizzily spins,
A top fulfilling its destiny
Along the trajectory of unforgiving time,
And we, like mice
Scurrying around in a granary,
Blindly scramble, bite, scratch, fight,
In a mad daze we dash,
For the horizon that recedes
Relentlessly,
As time whooshes by
In a blur, until
Already falling off the precipice,
We realise too late,
That what is rushing up
To meet our flailing bodies,
Is just the cold, dark earth,
Oblivion, and the finality
Of the curtains drawing to a close
In an empty theatre.

Let us, just you and I,
Step aside from the stage,
And sit awhile on this
Wet patch of freshly mown grass,
Your eyes turned to the sun,
Your face snuggled in my arms,
Our clothes stained green with the earth,
Watching wordlessly,
A tiny squirrel feeding nuts to its young,
Staring at us amused every now and then,
With its large and beady eyes.

A moment is all I ask of you,
Surreptitiously stolen from fleet footed time,
While the world stands still,
Waiting with abated breath
For the moment to pass,
And mortality to resume its path again.
Anything more would be too much to bear
For mere mortal souls like us.

A Vague Dream

2009-10-31T05:52:00.000-07:00

How strange is the chase...
for dreams that don't have a visage
Nor a definition

A vague hill...fluid, unbounded
A valley of unidentified flowers..
yellow and white
a soul, soul-mate-like
unnamed, without a face
but well-defined fingers
that slide behind my ears
to tuck a stray strand of hair..
And time..is frozen..
ice-cold, but its pleasantly warm
under the skin of my cheeks

I see no colour
hear no sound
as I try to identify
You....
But all I am left with
is a dream
and its characteristic uncertainty
that tests my patience
bit by bit, crystal by crystal
through a narrow decade-glass
of Not Knowing

The mist above the hills
grows denser
and you walk away
leaving behind the illusion
of a smile, and the reality
of longing...

Deadly Sin

2009-10-31T05:51:00.000-07:00

What did I want? To feel me loved in this world!
I wonder if this is what I have waited for so long!
My eyes water in a strange way and
I smile and blame those kitchen onions
And I try to smother this uncanny sense
of pain and shame that is a rising volcano.

A lethal thrilling night
My body inflamed and swollen
Like an angry river in wield, tongue roving all over
rummaging my little secrets, Lips wet supple urging me
The room becomes an ocean
And the waves start rocking me
My body tossing like a boat in storm
His whispers fly like a colorful bird
But when I reach out to take it in my palm
It is just beaks, claws, shit.

And I lay there without breathing
My guilt hidden under his chest
My conscience buried beneath his manhood.
Spread like a spent flower
My bones made of jade and coral,
Each time the bird beats her wings
I frantically try to envisage love
But the angry smoke and the furious waves
Lash onto the colorful wall saying lust
There were regret and repentance everywhere
On the upholstered sofa
On the Gujarati stitched bed spreads
Guilt like an ugly bruise with a pale green tint all over.

Now I fancy in my fraught urgency
If I hold my breath and shut my eyes in earnest
And count till ten, would I feel new once again?
And then I rush to the kitchen
Burnt smell of spilled milk all around
I stare and murmur to myself
Soon I will clean it up and begin all over again.

Ode to Luscious Lips

2009-10-30T05:11:00.001-07:00

My heart is numb
and I lie helpless
in intoxication
tasting you
the kiss
and the heat of fire.
When you smile in askance
Do you want to feel
the desire of a falling star?
And the ruin of
some broken verses
on you
Merge with your promises
myriad.
Come close to me
yet stay apart
my death in your hands
or is it my reality
my nectar for life?
Among other
swarming smirk and
sneer I see you
breathing,
in your mystifying curve
the depth of the sea
unfathomable
like the deepest night.
In you my infinite dreams
in your luscious arc
lies my twilight sky
and my hundred stars.
Your coquettish beam
launches fire in a lover’s heart
Your solitary songs
allure me to hope.

But still
falsity on you and
those slouching pledges
the wreck and debris
of forged assure
A void and
an uncanny emptiness
and then
among the mourning
I see you dead
sulking and pouting
navigating tragedies
you become pale
and then on that fateful day
I see you dead.

Now, sitting
in my far away lonely corner
I still remember
alluring lotus
your magic casement
In which lies
my strength and my joy
and now I am in love with death
in my pensive mood
my tribute
and my heart
is intoxicated again.

Safe Distance

2009-10-30T05:06:00.002-07:00

I thought to touch you

But you shrug away

As a touch me not

You closed within yourself.

Lost in your reverie

I wonder about your deep sleep

Were you caught up with the past

Or in meditation.

Your eyes have a twinkle

Seems that you are drugged

Sometime it reflects emptiness

At times an enlightenment of a fakir.

I like the way your face curls up

Into a smile

You seem an unusual soul

With all the resplendence.

Are you a human

Are you a saint

The halo you wear…

Is it to keep a safe distance.

I neither could get close to god

And neither get any closer to you

Maybe, not destined for worldly diligence

Nor the materialism I could have gained.

Your greetings may be a blessing

For those beings around you

I had asked for a simple means from life

Not a person who embraces himself as god.

Grey Dreams

2009-10-28T13:11:00.000-07:00

Exposed to winkles
Are with passage of experiences
Or in the course of wisdom
As I flaunt my grey hair judiciously
As the number of months and years
Add on with time
As scales on the tree
Do not count my forgetfulness
As my ignorance
Though I persist faltering
You will unearth prudence in my speech.
*
I have stumbled…
Numerous phases in my lifetime
And my trembling hands
Are losing its grip
I cannot retrace my steps once again
But let not my oversight
Hinder my vision
Never mind my graying cells
If it is wearing once a while
I am young at heart
If not in years.
*
Let the dust settle
On my utopian dreams
My restlessness…
Continues with aging.

Wilted Love

2009-10-28T13:10:00.000-07:00

Wilted flowers display
The tale of my love
Who would be blamed?
Who was fair…
And who was not
(If we could justify war in love)
The seeds of an enmity
Was sown by me
Forgotten are the fruits of joy
I had once been sharing.
*
Now that I have a habit
Of bleeding…
Every now and then
The answer to my tears
Are as dew on leaves
Though my roots were grounded
(I never build castles in the air)
My stem were uprooted and cut
Forgotten, that I carried life
My wounds wouldn’t so soon heal.
*
My shoulders droop
I am laid lifeless and drunk
In porcelain white jar
(Among other red and yellow roses)
For you to undauntedly admire me
You have accused my thorns
To prick you where it hurts
As I grasp for my last breath…
I will be not around to tell
You strangled life out of me.
***
At least I have this comfort
My fragrance would linger
If not at all to haunt you
(For you to remember…)
The last token of my selfless love.

My Best Enemy

2009-07-11T03:05:00.000-07:00

What happen to the love we had
Knowing its his love makes me mad
she told you it was a cool thing to do
So you belived him since she was your boo
Now you know all the things i told you were true
I see you look a little blue
Leaving everything behind for her,was it worth all the pain
So what did you really gain
An addiction to herion aka brown
Does it make you feel like your wearing acrown
To me its an early ticket to hell
I know i can't help so i yell
So please realize rehab is your way out
Because only you can help yourself out

Diary

2009-06-30T09:35:00.000-07:00

Pages covered with words,
where my thoughts went alive,
my words piled as diary enteries,
also play their roles in my life.

It contains articles of my personal experiences,
has interesting forums where I discuss about,
It also is filled of a little chatroom,
where I can open my heart and shout.

I use a special ink to write my flashbacks,
when I open my diary the next day,
from the page on which I wrote before,
my special ink vanishes away.

My diary and ink were a gift to me,
which follows me like a shadow to every room,
their existence will never come to an end,
until in front of me stood my doom.

The diary I pen on is my mind,
The ink I use are my words and thoughts,
Where people have restless nights in this fast paced time,
I fill my nights with my diary slots.

A Nameless Emotion

2009-06-30T09:32:00.000-07:00

Desire........
this is what we always have in relation.....
expectation.........
Which ruined many relations......
But My Feeling for u.......
Are little different.
I have No desire for your love.
I have no expectations from you.
i love you for no reason and no cause....

I Sometimes wonder, while walking on the empty roads........
strolled by the winds......
The feel of that air ...Give's me Your comfort.
Even though i had never confessed....to u
But yes i do..........talk to you.....
Even you don't know.......
Do u?

Its so murky ...may be so ambiguous u may find me.....
But Its so simple .......
i don want you ....because i love you....
I want you .......if u feel so.....
I don want to impose myself to you........

What i feel for you is not Love........
people say that i do love you......
But its not love......
Its a nameless emotion......
in fact i never had loved anyone ..........
But u r so cherished by me.....
u are so precious.....More than my life .

Its Not love........its a nameless emotion only

Silence

2009-06-30T09:29:00.000-07:00

and Some what pathetic also
But yes sometimes Silence speaks
And you know it speaks louder than the words......
But not always.......

It goes deep inside the heart ......
Some how incisions are made,
They are fatal.........
But not always......

It talks about the past.......
The same past which you want to think no more of......
It doesn't matter how felicitous you want to be..
melancholy the surrounding is.....
But not always.....

Some times It is so generous......
As it Hides Your implosion..
But its not perpetual......
May be for a flash but.......
Now it is succinct, dramatic, often sardonic....
But not always.........

You got No Answers For it .......
the only way to reply to it......
or to talk to it is the Silence itself But ......
Remind You Not alwaysssss.................

The Grief

2009-03-18T03:03:00.000-07:00

If grief for grief can touch thee,
If answering woe for woe,
If any truth can melt thee
Come to me now!

I cannot be more lonely,
More drear I cannot be!
My worn heart beats so wildly
'Twill break for thee--

And when the world despises--
When Heaven repels my prayer--
Will not mine angel comfort?
Mine idol hear?

Yes, by the tears I'm poured,
By all my hours of pain
O I shall surely win thee,
Beloved, again!

A Moonlit Walk

2009-03-16T00:38:00.000-07:00

A moonlit walk on a dusty road
Will give you peace and a getaway mode,
The silvery light at the moment bright ,
Will lift ur spirits to a newer height,
The peaceful walk with all your thoughts clustered up
Will let the words follow up
The deafening sounds of misery
Will soften up as history

The moonlit walk along the shore
Will bring in thoughts galore,
The gurgling sound of the water around
reminds you of your giggling mind as a little child

The moonlit walk around the block
seems so short , yet so far apart
The mesmerising street lamps there
Seem dimmer than the moonlight spread everywhere ,

The moonlit walk comes to a rigid end
When the realities of life step in and blend
The fear of walkin home again
Comes rushing back
And it'll never end
But then agian, the joy we have in both these worlds .....
Is neither worth comment nor amend

They Believe

2009-03-16T00:34:00.000-07:00

They believe it was the last blow ,
And that the last thread that held me
will cave in easily ,
They believe that i'll no longer strive
for a worthy sense of appeal,
They believe they can throw me off the edge
And expect no response what so ever said ,

They believe i have been crushed
to a million pieces inside ,
What do they dont believe is the fact that
the pieces are a prize ,
Each prize gives you pride ,
some inspiration , some vibe
To stand up against this hideous jibe ,

They believe i 'll perish and fall astray in time
And that the end has arrived ,
They believe they've pushed me onto a rocky road
Out in the cold ,
What they dont believe is that
there most certainly will be for me ,
at a distance .... an abode .

An Introspective Soul

2009-03-14T21:51:00.000-07:00

The thoughtful conscience
Is the grain of the soul
Seduced to commit right
Strayed to act wrong
The will sways directionless
Sometimes overpowering the heart
Sometimes overshadowing the mind
It weighs…
All times arousing the conscience
Into dimensions of our lives
We never steal into
We are scared to peer
The darkness of our heart
The sub consciousness of our mind
But a birth is an awakening
Of a reflective spirit
And awareness is enlightenment
Of an introspective soul
The insight comes…
Once in a life time.

A baby is born
Stirring hope…
A seed nurtured
Into a tree
We all feed on its fruits
Life long.

The Scarlet Letter

2009-03-14T00:40:00.000-07:00

The winkled yellow page
Torn out on the sides
The ink blot
Denote the dry tear stains
Her lips curl…
Into a smile
Her pupils expand
And emote a sigh
She would hold her breath
Her body would stiff
Her hands would give away
They would shiver…
As it held a scarlet letter.
.
Love become hatred
Happiness befall sadness
Fear evolve anxiety
Are the shades of emotions
That mirror on her face
She would chide herself
Her resplendent expression
Would turn crimson
Her cheeks would blush
Sometimes her ears turn red
Sometimes her eyes would hold tears
Sometimes her hair would fall
Covering the scarlet letter.
.
Days had bygone
Months had past
Years had departed
The letters had faded with time
But she had memorized
Every letter by letter
Every word by word
Every sentence by sentence
By heart
Different meaning…
Would be conveyed
With the passion she read
The scarlet letter.
.
She had not known to read
She had not known to write
She would hear…
The magic of verse
The resonance of his voice
As if he had read it out
For her
His laughter echoing
His eyes smiling
Reflected in the spell of time
She would search…
Recognize his name
Engraved on the scarlet letter.
.
The promise…
Had forgotten the meaning of words
Had elapsed the importance of time
But not the sense of love
For she would be waiting.

Joy After Sorrow

2009-03-11T08:59:00.000-07:00

Heavy does the heart feel-
Lonely does the mind think.
Though, surrounded by well wishers-
Search for solitude.

Emotion locked in heart-
Spill over to the kin.
Though, this quality gifted by Lord-
Turn the atmosphere depressing.

The secret is revealed-
The showers pour swiftly.
Though, the thought dwells-
Light does the heart feel.

Then comes tears of happiness-
Carving a smile on the lips.
Though, consoled by the beloveds-
The sorrow remains as silly memory.

Forgiven is the culprit-
Regained is the goodwill.
Though, quarrels do occur-
Nurture not hatred.

Let the joy spread-
Cultivate the habit of understanding.
Though, problems may arise-
Live life adjusting.

Horror Winter Story

2009-03-11T08:58:00.001-07:00

Frozen in chilled icy water, when my chopper crashed
wrecked ice glares covered us, as we got smacked
by ice pieces, on a silent winter night in Siberia.
Moon shivering as unclad would do in this chilling wind
mind refusing to accept dense ice mountains and my serendi
As my conciousness returning to stable first thing i recalled is
You...................

Some time back i spoke to you, strolling with your dog
in beach prepareing for valentine day,with your mom
you already had your day, smiling gleaming evening
is about to bring in long dearthy night and left me at bay.

freightning Tempreture ridiculing our efforts to recover
as courage had already lost its jist vigour
glacial frigid frosty ice everywhere we are amedest
Nerves freezing blood as apathetic aloof winter
was celebarteing coquesting his fear of loosing us.

As we cleared ice, pilot busy with radio and me shivering
as helpless among winter, aspiring your warmth of presence
Body now a victim as winter chilling me fast in a hurry
glimpses of your face were only stanchion buttress

We got rescued but extint fear of loosing you i realised
now as you are in my arm i was telling you storey
of that winter evening which i will never forget
Tears in your eyes you embraced me as i completed
my nippy shivery invigorating horror wintry storey

The Treatment

2009-03-11T08:57:00.001-07:00

he looks out the window
the bustling street beneath
people rushing everywhere
what thoughts wander, in his mind?

15 months flew by
in that very cot
waiting every day
with eternal hope in his eyes
that his wounds would heal

bloated egos
& toiling minds
years of cramming
& latest gadgets
no effort spared
to get him up

strange as it is
he was helping us
try to help him
for he was the nicest patient
any doctor could have

humbling it is indeed
the helplessness
what wouldn’t we give
when we look out the window
& see him there
in the bustling street beneath

Eloquent Silence

2009-03-11T03:47:00.000-07:00

Eloquent Silence

And, there was noise
breached by a cry
devoid of a voice

Sobs that silently choked
Heart’ beat heard
In the void of sound
w’en air flowed
rustling din curled
leaves slowly furled
Eyes shuttered
shattering quiet

In warmth’s embrace
Breath whispered
on a shoulder
Leading the pause,
eloquent silence
was heard
above unheard clatter

And, there was noise...

Four Candles

2009-03-10T03:48:00.000-07:00

Four candles
They burn slowly
Sharing hope and light
So pure, so white

The flames are yellow
While thy soul is red
Burning slowly
By the means of a thread
The thread of love, prosperity
In each other’s warmth

As their bodies degrade
The flames start to fumble
The end is near
Yet they have no fear
Anytime, they might crumble

Last pray to God
Lying in each other's embrace
And offer the last glow
The breath stops, they die
Damn, it’s dark again

An Enigma

2009-03-09T13:40:00.000-07:00

Lost and found
With seasons of life
Every turn…
Unfurl new dreams
As pages of a dairy
Flutter in the wind
With stories…
Told and untold.

With hope
Promises shadow…
Like a bark of a tree
The leaves fall
With the gush of breeze
The words on the dairy fade
Those letters look uneven
A voice echoes

And love becomes…
An enigma
The winter tear
Dries on my chin
With an ache in my heart.

The Right Side Of The Bed

2009-03-09T13:36:00.000-07:00

Lying alone,
there is no more a fight to lose
for the right side of the bed
We always wanted to end up
after making love, on
the right side of the bed

Heard that it snowed
in the mountains last night
Snow draped images
watched alone on news tonight
The wet powdery feel
of fresh new snow
Still imagined in memory remains

The sand clock still sits
on my desk
Distilling memories
pouring sand in a thin line
Extracting every nuance of time
Extruding every moment fine

Every time clock turned around
I lose instants once every while
All moments lost, make a heap
Memories flown from my hoard deep

Inside the desk
are my favourite memories
all together in comfort, tied loose
amongst Escape mixed spring flower scent
stowed away in letters with your fragrance

Open the desk to let
memory vagrant fly at me
Memories that tumble, fall in a stumble
Watch them play their ruse with me
My fingers come away
with faint bouquet of perfume you used

The right side of the bed
The silence of falling sand
You, asking me to write in verse
Me, searching for unknown words
Times that I fought with you
You throw at me, a, I love you
Never did I know what to do
Now wonder, how did that you do?

I still search to hear
The texture of your voice when alone
Turn around to catch
Warm colored, sun-kissed love
in your eyes forlorn

As I lie on the right side of the bed
staring at the sand clock, lonely
They are silent
My distant thoughts
Lost in memories
of their own, I look on...

Before We Meet

2009-03-07T21:11:00.000-08:00

Wen my heart feels better
And I am myself again
When the clouds shall part
And loving You shall be no pain

When the copper moon shall rise
I'll wake my sleeping heart
To let your stormy passion
inherit my lovelorn part

If You be the crackling fire
Then I be the moth to the flame
We shall drink passion's wine
And play cupid's lovely game

This is a prelude to enchantment
To give our Later life a velvet touch..
A pretence That You & Me are strangers
will help Us ride out of the stormy lurch

We are captives of fateful sensibility
And so we have to hide that forbidden fire..
Till our Souls are Liberated
& WE meet forever.................................

...

Thoughts of a Musician

2009-03-04T11:24:00.002-08:00

With my Guitar, i gone to a world of unseen
Where mind stops wondering and soul
starts to speak its untold secrets.
Finger tips creating fusion by pulling strings,
creating tunes of dearth separations or pleasing
union jubilation which are never even experienced.

You wonder, how a musician creates its music?
imagining separation, he cries in vain of pain,
feeling dry buried ardent deperation in his heart
as a lover's grief poured in its tune telling his story.

Beaming in glitters of buoyant exuberant he dreams
of love making, and union of two hearts as they
experience sanguine gleeful of union and upbeat euphoric.

I pose a question, to meter limits of their sentiments
Even musing tears in separation,they create music of
illumination and while at apogee of ecstatic exquisite rhapsodic
their tunes embarks inconsolable woebegone of soul's grief.

Drowning in these thoughts, my tune is completed
To repose words, i tried to ponder on the opus étude
But the question still remain unanswered
how two extremes are gratified, while not even endured ?

Death of Thought Foretold

2009-03-04T11:21:00.000-08:00

Muddled
in my mind
lie about
a perfect day’s ruin
Brilliant azure wall,
plagiarising the sky,
don’t hide blue pall

Outside
on the parapet
Alone,
a one legged pigeon
stands woefully
staring into my thoughts
Doleful eyes bind
at the deformity

Pile up feelings
of forgotten passion,
rediscovered,
embrace ennui
The tongue tastes fear
slime on the teeth
The breath sombre stinks
putrefying ideals

The pen abruptly jerks,
slides sideways
Collecting, connecting
disjointed words
Pauses, with the idea
a scrawl illegible
as wasted lament
descends

Words falter,
lead by emotions
in a halter
Hop on lame feet
amongst scraps
of scribbled sheets
Destitute remains
view deformed

Not volant on paper
unread,
it foretells
death of the thought..

You & Me

2009-03-04T11:19:00.001-08:00

I am a word
A string of alphabets
Carelessly wooven
Loosely shaped
Without a reason
Without rhythm
I exist
As plainly
As woodenly
As one can
As many do
But when you add
That magical touch
That essence
That soul
You
I become me
The word with a meaning
With an origin
With a reason to exist,
To be
Me

Flowers

2009-03-03T01:50:00.000-08:00

You give me the slip between garlic and lilies,
as if this is what comes of my unprotected
loves, of my hands in the sweet earth,
their willful miscegenation of the border bed
where you're tucked in deep with tulips, too,
like just one more of their heart-freaks:
a fluke diamondine flake, a thin vein gone gold.
Being mine, you'll grow up a girdled tree, girt
with a ringed-around root, nothing like
the fruitful vine of good wives—one of which
I'll never be so, my not-love-knot, you may
as well come up instead like a kiss:
the one wind gives to rouse the Japanese maple,
October's aerialist, its bright aureole
in the last late sun a red mouth, opening.

Memories

2009-03-02T02:29:00.000-08:00

I sit watching the clouds floats by,
I sit the Sun and the Moon rise and set
And the Stars twinkle till the skies turn red
Images flash through my mind.
As i turn the pages of time, I remember,
Memories both sweet and bitter,
Of times not long gone by,
Memories of a dream
That a time will come when
Only sweet memories
Fill me with ecstasy, Ecstasy of fulfillment,
Ecstasy of satisfaction,
Ecstasy of of an ever lasting friendship.
Ecstasy of eternity, So I wait for that time.
I know my dream will come true
Thus life moves on.
And I just wait and wait.

The Taxi

2009-02-25T09:35:00.000-08:00

When I go away from you
The world beats dead
Like a slackened drum.
I call out for you against the jutted stars
And shout into the ridges of the wind.
Streets coming fast,
One after the other,
Wedge you away from me,
And the lamps of the city prick my eyes
So that I can no longer see your face.
Why should I leave you,
To wound myself upon the sharp edges of the night?

A Word

2009-02-25T03:43:00.000-08:00

We all need escape
To disappear and evade
For few moments
For a little while
Some refuge
Some respite
Monotonous is this life
So I color mine
And I color it with words
Blue
Red
And green
I can color it
The way I please
Life is a word
And on paper
I can choose my ink
Bold
Underlined
Or italic
Depends on how I format
I can go back
Cross and erase
Write and rewrite
Save or let it fade away
Hide
Recite
The choice is mine
The quill is in my hands
The power to decide
To define
Paper is where
I come to life
Words
I believe
I can metamorphosize

Ashes

2009-02-24T05:08:00.000-08:00

"Take some ashes," she said, lifting the velvet bag to me.
My hand, suspended in air.
My eyes, looking away.
Past his face, past his being, in the roar of the sea.
"Take some ashes," she said again.
This is your friend.
Don't be afraid.

I reached into the grey dust,
Touching her. Touching what was left of her.
I held the ashes.

The waves, oblivious to us, roared, and continued to roar.
They would not be stilled.
But we came for silence.
We came for ceremony.
We came to yield her ashes to the sea,
To a silent sea.

Aware of the ashes in my palm.
Aware of the growing warmth of the ashes
In my palm.
Warmer and warmer until I felt the heat of Communion.

Opening my hand, I blew the ashes toward the sea.

"Don''t be afraid," I said.
And the sea, claiming her, rose like a temple before me.

Smoke

2009-02-24T05:03:00.000-08:00

The cigarette burns, silence resonates,
Swirling in the smoke, your voice, my name,
Words said, promises made, rotate….
I marvel, “is everything same?”

In the flame burns my bleeding heart,
I give death to immortal love,
I sever life’s darkest part,
The last beacon in dusk.

My memories, I burn one by one,
I see vital signs vanish.
Stinging me, deeds undone.
Array of thoughts, I banish.

Dreams shattered, now depart…
The last hopes, I discard.
Swirling in the smoke, your voice, my name
The cigarette burns, silence resonates.

Cemetry of Glee

2009-02-21T08:51:00.000-08:00

i stud my words on this dark canvas,
my thoughts and grief i weave,
a shoulder, a hand, i crave for,
a secret in my eyes concealed.

a cry unheard, a heart that bleeds,
my soul dies with dead leaves,
demised my hopes, slain my aims,
engraved in chapters of life i read.

lifeless my passion , useless my fight,
conundrum of fate i perceive.
rosary of memories, my last belonging,
with the last prayer and plea.

majestic madness, seductive sadness,
gifts from God, received.
this untracked path i walk on,
cemetry of glee i reach...

Dreamed of Being

2009-02-13T23:51:00.000-08:00

I dreamed, I did not know
The love I'd feel today;
The height of my true feelings,
And the depths they would portray.

And if I had one wish today,
A simple wish t'would be ...
Is that the love we feel this moment,
Lasts eternally.
And by our presence here today,
And for the love we share,
I thank you for our yesterdays
That brought us to be here.

But more than this, I vow to you,
My wishes yet to come ...
Tomorrow's dreams and fantasies,
This day that we are one.I promise to remember
In the future years and days,
The love I feel for you this moment ...
... Dreams fulfilled today.Yesterday we dreamed of what might be;
Today we validate our love;
And tomorrow we will cherish the life we have shared as one.

Life

2008-11-30T02:54:00.000-08:00

The sun glaze on the water
The mirror of your image
I carry it along with me forever;
Memories I cherish shimmer on the surface;
It... Read More’s a long time I remember;
Forever, forever…
It’s still fresh as the morning dew.
The laughter resounding in the air;
The tears glittering on your checks;
The twinkle in your eyes;
The smile on your mouth…
Forever, forever;
It’s a long time I remember.
It’s still new as the tender breeze.
The long walks on the sand
The drizzle in the shower of rain
The soft touch of earth
It’s a long time I remember;
Lets the life remain evergreen
Forever, forever.

You

2008-04-14T03:17:00.001-07:00

what magic did that first gaze do to me…
the magic that made this heart, yours forever…
whatever’s gonna happen now, doesn’t matter to me…
let’s celebrate this moment of love, together…
here i am now, and here you are…

you are in each and every prayer of mine…
without you, each moment has no shine…
with you these heartbeats are on cloud nine…

there’s only love over here…
definitely something in here…
since I met you, one fine day…
ever since i was lost in your love….

each moment apart from you, drove me insane..
this feeling of love, brings some pain…
my thirst for you, makes my thoughts go plain…

there’s only love over here…
definitely something in here…

Something Special

2007-12-13T16:57:00.000-08:00

SOMETHING SPECIAL

There was a time when I was alone a time when I felt myself lonely when I used to get scare from on goings when I was worried about everything about the surroundings, everything usual every day couldn't become a memory but more like a regular day of my lifeand now it seems something special I used to do with a routine but never thought of something I missed even I used to take a pen with me that I never forgotten any time its still the same but there is something now that is not with me that now it seems something special When she was around I was happy though I am still happy even if she has gone but now the sweet memories is like wine those were used to be grapes once, for me when I had everything and when I was complete that now it seems something special We enjoyed every part, every second and she cried and sometimes made me worried but I know she is sensitive and crazy and there is always a nature no one can change we laughed, we cared, we shared the best time whenever it could be possible to make our time the best that now it seems something special I felt a warmth in her hands before leaving I felt a love forever, I was lazy who couldn't react to stop her, just because I had to respect her respect because she is my love and to respect her so we could understand each other I know she loves me loves me like crazy, but I have some restrictions too to see our best time together and ever I did not want to let her go forever that now it seems something special I believe we will see ourselves together I believe we could share our lives together but to see ourselves happy...we don't want to see others worried we believe in love so there should be more love for us from other people too I know she understands and she can well imagine and I know she is smart to understand that now it seems something special I know she understands that if there is love there should not be any hatred around she loves me and I love her that now it seems something special...........

New Life

2007-05-24T07:51:00.000-07:00

People cry themselves after showing signs of breakup, and when they realise that what they have done, torn them apart...And at that time they look for the new beginning, the new life, the new light in the dark and when they dont get any, there dreams are more shattered...

But why dont they think that dreams only come to life when we close our life, dreams can give the motivation to live but we have to make our life by ourselves.

Coldness increases with nothing to do, building destructive thoughts and nightmares, they just start to walk without knowing their destiny, leaving all the relations behind them in search of there dreams which actually never existed in reality.

They always try to leave their past behind them but their past dont allow them to do so, their life rewinds and the people related with them comes back loving and caring them but they can only be seen cant be touched.

And then we realise we have lost far more as compared to what we have gained...And by then its too late to start a new life.

Never

2007-05-13T12:14:00.000-07:00

No matter how much you share, but this is a fact, a black fact as they say...bad memories never go down...infact they increase...

How much the tears flow but they cant even reach the corners of the heart.

Alot was expected, but nothing last forever, everyone departs in different phases of the life.

And then we realise that there is no one expect ourself....booming the loneliness and silence.

It was then discovered that weather does not change in close rooms.

But when things go your way, even then you cant make it sure that happiness will last forever.

There are memories of them in our dreams, but have we ever thought that are we also a part of their dreams.............................................

A Chat

2007-05-01T13:31:00.000-07:00

How can you see into my eyes like open doors has been added to the conversation.

Qurat-ul-Ain has left the conversation.

- a d e e L - says:
salamz

Qurat-ul-Ain has been added to the conversation.

- a d e e L - says:
Get the greatest MSN nicknames on http://www.msgr-names.com
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
Waleikum As Salam
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
AOA
- a d e e L - says:
walekum assalam
- a d e e L - says:
kaise hain aap log
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
Allah ka shukar hai
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
app sunaien
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
wahan ka mousam kesa hai
- a d e e L - says:
alhumdulillah behtreen hai
- a d e e L - says:
aap dono ko aik pic send kii hai usko accept kerlen
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
g kar li
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
app khuch naya sunaein
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
kiya horaha hai
- a d e e L - says:
bas kya sunayen...
- a d e e L - says:
aaj kal mein apni blog update ker raha hoon
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
acha
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
nice
- a d e e L - says:
oyee sameer accept ker bhai
- a d e e L - says:
bulke kerna shrroh kerdii hai
- a d e e L - says:
aap chk kersaktii hain
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
hm

Transfer of "digi.jpg" is complete.

- a d e e L - says:
hmm kya ?
- a d e e L - says:
yaar kahan gaye sab log
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
khamoshi key anherey mein
- a d e e L - says:
anherey ?

Transfer of "digi.jpg" is complete.

- a d e e L - says:
khatoon kahan hain aap ?
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
g
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
i was listening to ammi
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
i m here now
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
u tell me abt u adeel
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
kese guzar rahe hai
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
khuch bhii buhat sara random bata do
- a d e e L - says:
alhumdulillah bohut achi guzar rahii hai
- a d e e L - says:
pic dekhi
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
ge
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
wht have u done with it
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
it gives me the feeling of ur metaphysical side
- a d e e L - says:
hayen ?
- a d e e L - says:
define plz
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
well
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
u knw
- a d e e L - says:
me know ?
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
little special things u have which a very few people have
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
like u can see people's auras
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
can see Jin
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
right?
- a d e e L - says:
oho ok ok
- a d e e L - says:
got it now
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
so
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
whn i m tired n really into something, the image go blurry like this one
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
blurry but still makes sense
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
more sense
- a d e e L - says:
aww o ok ...
- a d e e L - says:
got it now...
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
tou app batana pasand karein geay kay app nay eyy kiya kiya aur kiun kiya
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
apni pic kay sath
- a d e e L - says:
bhii
- a d e e L - says:
bas aesi hi aik pic kholi aur usspe kucch effects apply kiye...
- a d e e L - says:
dats it,...
- a d e e L - says:
n then it all depends upon the result ke wat was there in my mind while doing all this
- a d e e L - says:
oye sameer tu kidher hai
- a d e e L - says:
aur kya soch raha hai
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
mein sochnahin parh raha
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
hoon aap looon key conversation
- a d e e L - says:
aapka kya khayal hai pic ke baray mein

..NADIR.. has been added to the conversation.

- a d e e L - says:
Get screen names that suit your mood on http://www.msgr-names.com (it's free)
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
yaar
..NADIR.. says:
walekum salamz annie
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
issey tu mein is mein sarey effects identify karsakta hoon
..NADIR.. says:
& salam my bro Sameer
- a d e e L - says:
nah u cant...
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
Wasalam
- a d e e L - says:
chal ok give a lil try
..NADIR.. says:
abey yaar...
..NADIR.. says:
popo pagal ho gaya hai ya tum loog pagal ban rahe ho
..NADIR.. says:
photoshop pe do-teen layer ka effect hai
..NADIR.. says:
sub loog apni apni baatein kar rahe ho
..NADIR.. says:
ye mere samne bani hai
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
yaar matlub humien bhi pata hai
..NADIR.. says:
is main koi sooch nahe....
- a d e e L - says:
abay yeh jhoot bol raha hai
..NADIR.. says:
bas aik buhat achi tasweer hai
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
opacity kum karkey
- a d e e L - says:
uss waqt tu yeh thaa bhee nahin
- a d e e L - says:
banne ke baad dikhayee hai isko
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
aur blending options sey hota hai
..NADIR.. says:
ye annie kahan gai
..NADIR.. says:
mere anne se pehle tou buhat ajeeb ajeeb baatein kar rahi thi
- a d e e L - says:
abay aesi hi aik picture kholi aur shrrooh
- a d e e L - says:
yeh result aya
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
mein yahein hon
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
reading the convo
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
bolo nbadior
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
nadir
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
how r u my friend?
..NADIR.. says:
main theek hoon ...
..NADIR.. says:
ALLAH ka shukar hai
..NADIR.. says:
bas aaj ka din ghar main farigh guzra tha
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
okays
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
aur iss kay elawa kiya horaha hai
..NADIR.. says:
aik movie dekhi
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
khuch acha aur naya sunao
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
kon si
..NADIR.. says:
THE THIRST
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
whts it abt
..NADIR.. says:
the main theme of the movie was...
..NADIR.. says:
love still remains alive ... even after death
..NADIR.. says:
but its not a romantic movie...
- a d e e L - says:
bhai
- a d e e L - says:
horror movie thee
- a d e e L - says:
vampires ke baray mein
- a d e e L - says:
lekin a tale of love
- a d e e L - says:
aik doosre ka khoon piyo aur vampire bano
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
hm
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
baney key kia zaroorat hai
- a d e e L - says:
lekin story bohut akhri thee bhai
..NADIR.. says:
kuch kuch .... annie ke matlab ki hai ?
- a d e e L - says:
apne iss comment pe roshni daalenge aap
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
hum sub apney apney jaga vampires hain
- a d e e L - says:
abay oo
- a d e e L - says:
yaar mera khayal hai ke aapki kucch arse se neend poori nahin huee hai
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
haan aap key baat bilkul durust hai
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
lekin uska is comment sey koi taaloq nahin hai
- a d e e L - says:
issi liye shayed aapne iss tarah kii baat kii hai
..NADIR.. says:
ja ke sooja sameer
..NADIR.. says:
tumhein neend ki zaroorat hai
- a d e e L - says:
aur annie khatoon aap ke liye aik baat ager aap sirf convo parh rahee hain...tu plz aisa na keren cuz convo baat kerne ke liye hoti hai..agar aapko parhn hi hai tu hum aapko mail kerdiya kerenge save kerke
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
heehhehe
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
hahahehhee
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
bhai mein soch rahee hoon in barey mein kiya javab doon
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
wasey piyar shayad sirf vampires ko he hona chahey
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
ya phir sufiyoon ko
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
jin ki janat paki hoti hai
- a d e e L - says:
yeh kis tarah kii baat kii hai aapne
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
well vampires kabhi martey naho
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
nahi
..NADIR.. says:
hello .. aunty
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
hehehe
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
gee uncle
..NADIR.. says:
aap ka chakar vampire se hai
..NADIR.. says:
hamara nahee
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
hahahaha
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
hehehehe
..NADIR.. says:
tou hum phir piyar na karein...
..NADIR.. says:
ye kaisi baat hoi ?
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
I repeat
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
karo karo
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
we are all vampires in our own right
..NADIR.. says:
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
wasey piyar shayad sirf vampires ko he hona chahey
- a d e e L - says:
abay bhai sameer
- a d e e L - says:
kaise
- a d e e L - says:
hum sab kaise vampire hain apni apni jaga
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
NADIR: i said tht cuz vampires r immortal
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
vampires are vampires not because they are dead or this or that
..NADIR.. says:
okie
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
NADIR: aur tum piyar zaroor karo, its just my thought
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
u dnt have to agree
- a d e e L - says:
phir bhai why vampires are vampires ?
- a d e e L - says:
oyee

..NADIR.. has been added to the conversation.

How can you see into my eyes like open doors has left the conversation.

How can you see into my eyes like open doors has been added to the conversation.

- a d e e L - says:
I got my MSN Names from http://www.msgr-names.com, they're free!

Qurat-ul-Ain has been added to the conversation.

- a d e e L - says:
Get the best screen names on http://www.msgr-names.com
- a d e e L - says:
abay humara modem bund hogaya thaa
..NADIR.. says:
sorry guys...
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
there feeding makes them what they are
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
we are all feeding on something
..NADIR.. has left the conversation.
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
anger rage power
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
hatred etc
..NADIR.. says:
haan tou main keh raha tha
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
its ok
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
welcome
- a d e e L - says:
oo bhai
- a d e e L - says:
phir tu every living being is a vampire
..NADIR.. says:
loo... sameer bhai jazbaati ho gaye
- a d e e L - says:
kya ghatia baat kii hai bhai yeh
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
tu main ney kiya kuch aur kaha
- a d e e L - says:
nahin bai i dnt agree on this
- a d e e L - says:
we are not vampires
- a d e e L - says:
chalo lets talk abt their food
- a d e e L - says:
abay bhai

Qurat-ul-Ain has been added to the conversation.

How can you see into my eyes like open doors has been added to the conversation.

- a d e e L - says:
Get screen names that suit your mood on http://www.msgr-names.com (it's free)
- a d e e L - says:
yaar yeh modem kii fire fire
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
well my friend if you consider it without prejudice
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
you will agree
- a d e e L - says:
abay kis tarah ka prejudice
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
anykind
- a d e e L - says:
inactive members can plz leave this convo
- a d e e L - says:
any kind of wat ?
- a d e e L - says:
can-->may
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
yaar without anykind of prejudice
..NADIR.. says:
hey listen guys..
- a d e e L - says:
but is there any prejudice
..NADIR.. says:
me coming back after maghrib prayers
- a d e e L - says:
how can u say this ?
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
bhii define this prejudice sameer
- a d e e L - says:
oyee i'll be bak in 5-10 mins
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
there is
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
religion fate
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
faith
- a d e e L - says:
tu wat u r saying ke we should keep these things aside n then think..?
- a d e e L - says:
i think u need to rethink wat u jst said
- a d e e L - says:
brb
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
I don't mean you should keep it aside
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
but be neutral
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
we should never keep faith and religion aside because they set our boundaries
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
but should look into every prespective being neutral
..NADIR.. says:
............... me back ...................
..NADIR.. says:
let me read all the billshit from the top..
..NADIR.. says:
oye... kiya likh rahe ho
..NADIR.. says:
insaanon ki zabaan main jawab do
..NADIR.. says:
let the vampire live the way they want to live
..NADIR.. says:
and you keep following the religion you think is the best
..NADIR.. says:
and so what you heart says is right
..NADIR.. says:
and thats the bottom line
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
bhai when did I say not to follow religion
..NADIR.. says:
cos NADIR SHARJEEL said so...
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
following has nothing to do with neutral thinking
..NADIR.. says:
then just dont think too much
..NADIR.. says:
dimagh main ziyada zor nahe dalo
..NADIR.. says:
ye poop kahan chala gaya
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
kyun
..NADIR.. says:
aur annie bhi ghayab hai
..NADIR.. says:
sirf apun dono hain
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
mein soch rahi hoon kay tum kiya keh rahey ho nadir
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
kafi ajeeb hai
..NADIR.. says:
main sirf ye keh raha hoon....
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
zaroori nahi hai jo app ka dil kahey wo har tarhan say sahi ho
..NADIR.. says:
keh let the world go as it is going ...
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
acha and?
..NADIR.. says:
Dil tou hai... lekin aik dimagh bhi diya hai
..NADIR.. says:
jo ye bata hai keh dil kitna sahe hai
- a d e e L - says:
han me bak
..NADIR.. says:
aur kitna ghalat
..NADIR.. says:
jo cheezein aap ki body main fit ki gai hain
..NADIR.. says:
un sub ka poora poora faida uthein
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
dekho
..NADIR.. says:
dil aur dimagh dono istemaal main laein
..NADIR.. says:
kya?
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
dkho
..NADIR.. says:
kya ?
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
brain thinks rationally
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
but the heart does not rationalize
..NADIR.. says:
abey bhai... ye phir shuro ho gaya rocket science
- a d e e L - says:
abay yeh kya baatein ho rahee hain
- a d e e L - says:
ye ok i agree with sameer
- a d e e L - says:
but still...we cant keep blance between the 2 while mking ny kinda decision or do we..
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
you see that is the point
- a d e e L - says:
we lways tend to fll t one side in our whole life
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
heart always makes a decision
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
the brain either supports it with logic
- a d e e L - says:
until the point we relise we would hve kept the balnce but then we dont hve ny decision to mke
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
or rejects
- a d e e L - says:
wat if the brain goes againt any decision but still we go with it
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
but not all decision can be made by the brain
- a d e e L - says:
then wat
..NADIR.. says:
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
that is the point
- a d e e L - says:
n how so we maintain the balance
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
[nadir sabar karo, kabhi kabhi ache batein sun leni chahein]
- a d e e L - says:
but first of all do we need to maintain this balance
- a d e e L - says:
if yes then why ?
- a d e e L - says:
cuz to me...its not necessary to maintain balance

How can you see into my eyes like open doors has been added to the conversation.

Qurat-ul-Ain has been added to the conversation.

- a d e e L - says:
its like either we do something or not
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
somethings in life intially can not be rationalized
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
in the beginning you believe in Allah not because your brain tells you but because your heart tells you
..NADIR.. says:
apne modem main masla hai
so sorry for DC
- a d e e L - says:
- a d e e L - says:
but first of all do we need to maintain this balance
- a d e e L - says:
if yes then why ?
- a d e e L - says:
cuz to me...its not necessary to maintain balance
- a d e e L - says:
its like either we do something or not

How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
the brain reaches that level of maturity much later
- a d e e L - says:
yea ok...but how do we know that our brain has reached the level of maturity...
- a d e e L - says:
cuz we can compare things n decisions like other ppl in the world
- a d e e L - says:
??
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
no
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
that can not be a standard
- a d e e L - says:
then wat is the standard or wat r the standards
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
but yes when we can compare & evaluate our own decisions
- a d e e L - says:
ok ok...
- a d e e L - says:
but then when other ppl take it as a wrong move in our life or watever...n the comment at that time..baday hojao, bachon waali baatein na kero...
- a d e e L - says:
etc etc...
- a d e e L - says:
or like#
- a d e e L - says:
u must have think abt it b4 doing.n blah blah
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
the point is no decision in life is wrong until provrn wrong
- a d e e L - says:
n who can prove it wrong..?
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
no one but yourself
- a d e e L - says:
how n when..?
- a d e e L - says:
with the time ?
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
listen adeel
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
we always deep inside knw whts wrong or right
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
doesnt matter wht age we r off
..NADIR.. says:
thats the voice of teh heart
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
may be +5 yrs
..NADIR.. says:
the inner feelings....
..NADIR.. says:
thy ey come from your heart !!!
..NADIR.. says:
Dil Tou Pagal Hai
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
and 80% of religion is humanity
- a d e e L - says:
ok ok..
- a d e e L - says:
but when our decision goes bad...
- a d e e L - says:
who should we blame...
- a d e e L - says:
i know ourself.
- a d e e L - says:
but i mean heart or brain ?
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
whn decions go bad
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
thy do cuz we evolve
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
everythign evolve with time
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
most of the decisions r right whn taken
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
hmm let me give you an example
Qurat-ul-Ain says:
but everything need to be maintained
..NADIR.. says:
..NADIR.. says:
sub loog aik hi baat keh rahe hain
- a d e e L - says:
jii jii bolein
..NADIR.. says:
alaag alaag style main
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
you like someone
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
and you want to be with them
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
people appose you but you still continue
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
and then you are together
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
then something bad happens
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
(sickness, accident, seperation ect)
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
then the people who ooposed you will feel they were right
- a d e e L - says:
nah nah...
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
but you might still feel they are wrong
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
because
- a d e e L - says:
abay nahin bhai
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
of what you shared
- a d e e L - says:
i would never feel ke they were rite..
- a d e e L - says:
i will accept it as my fate , wat Allah has written
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
when did I say you would
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
I said they will feel they were right
- a d e e L - says:
ok
- a d e e L - says:
ooops you nahin dekha thaa
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
so what does this make your decision
- a d e e L - says:
rite ....
- a d e e L - says:
to em
- a d e e L - says:
*me
- a d e e L - says:
??
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
both in your positions
- a d e e L - says:
why both ?
..NADIR.. says:
bhai.. sameer ki baat main dum tou hai
..NADIR.. says:
larke ne buhat ghehri baat ki hai
- a d e e L - says:
why do i evaluate my decision with their perspective ?
- a d e e L - says:
i did wat i felt was rite...or was rite
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
no you don't
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
they do themselves
- a d e e L - says:
wat ?
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
but doesn't this differ what is your right & wrong to what is others
- a d e e L - says:
may be..!
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
so then how can there be a standard
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
that means everyone is rightin their own prespective
- a d e e L - says:
haan tu dats wat i was saying
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
then who is wrong
- a d e e L - says:
thats wat my question
- a d e e L - says:
who should we blame ?
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
blame?
- a d e e L - says:
wat influenced us to make the decision heart or brain...?
- a d e e L - says:
blame for being wrong
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
blame for what
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
first come to teh conclusion whether you are right or wrong
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
then the one who made the decision
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
if heart then heart is wrong
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
if brain then brain is wrong
- a d e e L - says:
abay regarding ur example...i did wat was rite...
- a d e e L - says:
i was rite
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
so then there is no blame
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
listen another thing there is no such thing as was right
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
you are either right or wrong

Qurat-ul-Ain has left the conversation.

- a d e e L - says:
abay bhai.....
- a d e e L - says:
this is wat i was saying bai
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
the influence of time is not all that subtle
- a d e e L - says:
plz explain
..NADIR.. says:
lo annie bhaag gai
..NADIR.. says:
tum loogon ne bhaga diya usko !
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
yaar bhaag mein bhi raha hoon
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
its late 1:30
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
and I have office tomorrow
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
and I really haven't been getting uch sleep
..NADIR.. says:
abey yaar.. tou soja na
- a d e e L - says:
ok ok
- a d e e L - says:
abay yaar sameer
- a d e e L - says:
bhai wat abt ur pre?
..NADIR.. says:
yaar tou neend poori kara kar bhai
- a d e e L - says:
abay aaj nadir class mein nahin gaya so raha thaa class ke time pe
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
we will finish this conversation later
- a d e e L - says:
khekhekhekhekhekhe
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
ok
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
take care guys
How can you see into my eyes like open doors says:
Allah Hafiz
- a d e e L - says:
take care
- a d e e L - says:
Allah Hafiz

How can you see into my eyes like open doors has left the conversation.

Giving

2007-04-27T14:19:00.000-07:00

I am back after some time...dealing with some unfinished business..and now what..there are still some..waiting for my attention..i guess i should not let them wait....or do I...?

I will figure it out soon enough..

As for now..
What do we really mean when we say giving in relationship....?

What exactly do we talk about...
which relationships, giving what, and more importantly why do we really need to give whom should we give they person with whom we are in relationship or to those who help us in starting, keeping and building it....?

These were the some questions which I dont want to kepp them unanswered...

A Bit of Reality

2007-03-01T07:11:00.000-08:00

One day you asked me what I love more, you or my life, and when I said that My Life.
You walked away from me without knowing.., that your were My Life...

A wise physician said to me, "I have been practicing medicine for 30 years and I have presribed many things. But in the long run I have learned that for most of what ails the human creature, the best medicines are LOVE and TRUST....."

"What if it doesn't work..?" I asked..
"Double the dose" he replied....

And when I did that.....
It was taken for granted and at that time I realised that holding someone close to the heart because you might wake up one day and realise that you have lost a diamond while you were busy collecting stones...

Thats what happened to me....
Now I know that giving someone all my love is not an assurance that I;ll be loved back..
I just dont expect love, infact I dont expect anything in return, all I do is to wait for it to grow in the heart, but if it does not.......!

Inspired

Dreams

2007-01-16T08:19:00.000-08:00

It's only the beginning now ...
a pathway yet unknown
At times the sound of other steps ...
sometimes we walk alone
The best beginnings of our lives
May sometimes end in sorrow
But even on our darkest days
The sun will shine tomorrow.
So we must do our very best
Whatever life may bring
And look beyond the winter chill
To smell the breath of spring.
Into each life will always come
A time to start anew
A new beginning for each heart
As fresh as morning dew.
Although the cares of life are great
And hands are bowed so low
The storms of life will leave behind
The wonder of a rainbow.
The years will never take away
Our chance to start a new
It's only the beginning now
So dreams can still come true

Inspired

Me

2007-01-07T08:17:00.000-08:00

I was a troubled soul

I had a worried mind drifting from place to place

I was the restless kind right there in front to me bright as the light of day you saw a broken girl you loved me anyway and if

I sprouted wings

I would not be amazed cause faith is a mystery that rocks me for days and days and day and

I could be in the street i could be on a train or struck in some doorway down in the pouring rain now there is not one place that doesn't feel like home no matter where i go i know i'm not alone

I've never been so sure of love and if i sprouted wings

I would not be amazed cause faith is a mystery that rocks me for days and days and day oh you can ask me once and

I will tell you twice no one's convincing me this isn't paradise and if

I cause you pain i'd only hurt myself cause we have a righteous love i feel for on one else.

Remember..!

2007-01-05T18:51:00.000-08:00

Whenever anyone leaves...theres only one thing ...

Dont forget me...so do I...

but do we really mean it or it is just a line before a life long good bye...!

enywayz...Upon leaving...lots n lots of promises are made...

new gifts are to be brought with the stories of new beings and places, only for the waiting eyes....!

All the eyes are now freezed but no one came back....only thing came was the cold air from the opened door..

Everyone has left now....assuming that its too late for the return frozen eyes are now closed and so the door....days have passed...new beings came....

And finally the return was made...just in time....!

But it was just too late..!

The Trip

2007-01-05T17:12:00.000-08:00

Date: Dec, 27 2006
Birmingham-Bradford

I woke up at 9:30 am and then woke my friend who was accompanying me on the trip and sleeping like a dog.

It took me an hour to get ready, the next step was to call the cab....usually the cab arrives on time-ie. with in 5 minutes after the call but this SOB took more than 20 minutes to arrive.

We reached the coach station with only 5 minutes remaining for the bus to leave....
Bus...National Express service no. 321....
finally the bus left for bradford...and the trip started atlast.......

The first 30 minutes were very exciting as the view from the window was wonderful, as the time passed the journey was becoming more n more lousy....because the sun had gone down it was dark with the rain and the surroundings were not even visible.

Atlast we arrive at bradford accompanied by the drizzle,,,,,,,at the bus station bhai sadi was there to receive...from there we walked to a local store(remember it was drizzling all the time) bought some grocery and house hold stuff and then had a cab which took us to 133-Gladstone street....a 2 star residency......not a perfect hotel but still it had all the basic necessities for the living and entertainment.
Had a UKFC zinger with fries....and the program for bowling was on the cards.

Later in the night around 9:30 we left for bowling to hollywood bowl ....had some fun...i mean by bowling..10 guys were there in all 2 groups of 5 each were made....85 was the highest score in the1st group and in my group top score was 106 n i stood 2nd with 101...bad night...:(...but never mind...that day ended here.....

Date: Dec, 28 2006

The next day.....woke up at 1:00 pm.....spent some time at the internet...doing what..nothing...:)..believe me its also very hard thing to do..i mean by doing nothing...
around 3 pm we thought to have some English breakfast which included....pan cakes, bread, eggs, beans with chees, mayo and some tropical mix juice flavoured like the cough syrup....and to add the desi touch.....tea arrived....!...after the breakfast at 3:30pm went again to internet doing again NOTHING...
Later in the night went to the movie NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM starring BEN STILLER....it was a nice comedy flick.......after the movie came back home and had the dinner...and it was BIRYANI.....wat a end to the day.....wonderful....!..after that went to sleep cuz my dream mates were waiting for me;)

Date: Dec, 29 2006

As usual woke up late...infact very late....had the breakfast comprising of eggs n bread...came to internet...doing nothing....later in the night program for the club n pool was finalised....
so went to club at 11:30 and then to pool at 3:00 am spend 2 hrs over there n then came back home at 6 in the morning..the date was changed to Dec, 30 2006..

Date: Dec, 30 2006----->contd

at that time I decide not to sleep ptherwise i'll mis my eid prayers....but i slept...wake up 9:00 to get the 9:30 prayers....got ready in 15 minutes n ran to the mosque....after the prayers came back home and slept again and then woke up at 6 in the evening....came to internet....for 10 minutes...and then decided to have breakfast....although it wasn't the time for breakfast but who cares...so i went to the kitchen..and there..it was the green chicken...under heavy fire..i mean the dinner was getting ready....so i waited for it...and till then decided to have a shower....after the shower had the dinner...and get ready for pool...but what happened next is a lil strange...as after the dinner i felt heavily influenced by the sleep..so i went back to sleep as we had to cath the bus the next morning at 10:20 for london....

Date: Dec, 31 2006
Bradford-London

Wake up at 8:30....had the breakfast of puris and sabzi of aloo and chana....yummmi...it was jst too delicious to tell.....:)
called the cab to get the bus station and then had in the bus no. 561...the journey towards london started at 10:30....the travelling time was 5 hrs....damn...!
the journey was made entertaining when 3 guys enter the bus wearing some techni color dresses...aka govinda...but the guys were brits...as they were drunk..soon one of them started to sing a song....and time by time....some words were thrown at the bus driver also...after some time they lie on the bus floor....why...nobody knows.....!!
Finally we arrive at victoria coach station and made our way to east london.....where the delicious achar chacken was waiting for us......while having dinner we discussed the last night of 2006 and were lanning how to welcome 2007...finally we decided to go to london eye for the new yr's eve fireworks..so we left at 10:30pm and reached london eye at 11:40 where thousands of people gathered to welcome the new yr in style....

Date: Jan, 1 2007

The clock struck 12 and the fireworks started.....and continued for 20 minutes and during these 20 minutes the night was converted into day and the sky was filled with firecrakers of different colors.
After this entertainment we planned to go home but found ourselves in a very critical sitution, we were stuck at the waterloo station with no access to the tubes and any sort of public transport and the panic doubled when we realised that one of our friend was missing and we had to find him. The cell phone network was also down which created ample of disturbance in communicating with our friend. After 2 hrs of fatigue we finally managed to find our lost friend and move to a place where acrowd of people were heading towards a train fully loaded to its maximum capacity but anyhow we 6 guys got our feet in the train. Rite then we saw another empty train arriving at the parallel platform, without thinking or asking anyone one of our friend, who was lost earlier, jumped for that train and so did the rest of us....after 5 minutes the doors closed and the train started to move...this movement brought some smileys on tensed faces and in this excitement we waived to the people left behind on the platform but soon again the panic started when we realise that this is a national rail service and we are heading somewhere outside london, we all were stunned yet excited to complete a journey. After few minutes the train stopped at the station where the same left alone guy took off from the train and we followed him again not knowing why we were doing so...Amazingly this decision turned out to be rite and we found the access to tube from the station, this was the direct tube service to our destination but at a very long route.
The train got loaded on every station and we safely arrive at our destination, went to a fast food place to have something in our late night dinner,,,,,went home had dinner while discussing today's advernture and then slept somewhere around 4:30 am.
It was one hell of an adventure and a new yr night that will remain in my memory forever .... although it was a nice outing but no way near the new yrs night at the TIMES SQR NYC...
We woke up at 1 pm in the day.....and had very delicious half fried eggs made by bhai Talha, the resident of the flat where we were living in london....
Later in the early evening we went to meet one of aunts who lives somewhere at edgware road, when we arrived at edgware and I called her but she sounded as she dont want to meet me....and made some lame excuses, there went my plan down the drain and we came up with a new plan of having a dinner at nearby lebanese resturant.
The food was damn good...consisting of shawermas, hamous, mutabbal, grilled chicken, shish kebabs and shish koftas with the drinks(non alcoholic). When wwe finished it started to rain pretty heavily.....but still we went to have an ice cream on my insistance.
Later we went to vist a shopping centre HARRODS which was the replacement in a plan for BUCKINGHAM PALACE due to the heavy rainfall.
At the harrods the discount offers were attractive only if would had some extra quids...after the short trip of place we went out where my mate Nadir was stunned by the collection of some world's most expensive vehicles including maybach, rolls royce, mercedes kompressor 6 door limou. From there we took a bus to leicester sqr and had a photo session in the middle of the road, from there we head to london bridge and continued the photo session, it was damn cold there we browse the place in a glance, after that we were off to home...on the way back we stopped at kebabish resturant and had for the dinner...then bhai sadi took us to anand paan shop----the place was filled with various kind of masalas......there were various kinds of mixtures named after famous south asian celebraties like........Amitabh Bachan, Karishma Kapoor, Kareena Kapoor, SRK, Hrithik Roshan, Amisha Patel, Kajol, Reema, K3G etc...After taking the mix of all these we finally made our way to home......and slept around 2:30....in the night...

Date: Jan, 2 2007

We woke up at 10:30 am and got ourselves ready in 20 minutes for day full of entertainment including london eye, river cruise and madam tusaaud museum....
Our first destination was to get the tickets for these 3 places which was one hell of a task as there were many people waiting in queue, it took us around half an hr to get the tickets....then we head to the london eye...took the half an hr ride came down and ran towards the cruise as it was leaving in 15 minutes.....the cruise took us on river thames and was providing the brief introduction about the surrounding. It was the 40 minutes of highly enjoyable adventure.
Then we reach the MT musuem at 3:30 pm...during the 3 hr stay in the museum we encountered some famous celebrity wax models architect to portray a real life look, followed by the ride throught the ages of England.....it ended with a short movie about the stars hosted by a beautiful young lady in the red. But we only took the beautiful memory of that lady in the red whn we came out of the museum. Thus our trip ended in the disappointment of not taking any pictures with her which we thought of...It was the end of our beautiful day's adventure from there we went to book our tickets for the next day's return to birmingham....and after getting our seats confirmed we head to east hounslow for some fast food stuf...and after that went back home.....At home we were entertained by the ever alive comedy show by umer shrif and moin akhter and after we slept at around 5:30 am in the intending to get up early and catch the bus at 2:30 pm..

Date: Jan, 3 2007
London-Birmingham

Unlike our plan of waking up early, it turned to be totally opposite when we found ourselves in the situation where 2 of our mates might mis the bus to bradford...but some how we quickly packed out things and headed to the coach station, luckily we reached there just in time and bradis got their bus...
Me and Nadir had to wait for half an hr as our bus to birmingham was at 3:00pm, till then we had our brunch.
Finally our bus arrived....(by the way our bus number was 420)...we go on the bus and took the front seat and were joined by the beautiful young lady just one seat ahead of us....The environment of the bus was very warm and soon we found out that the ac of the bus is not working and the lousy driver could not do anything till 30 minutes or untill we reach the motorway...all the passengers were feeling warm and started to take off their warm clothes and so did the beautiful lady sitting ahead of us.
Finally we arrive in birmingham at almost 6:00 pm....
Got our luggage and took a cab to home.
This was the end of our week long adventure starting in 2006 and ending in 2007...
The route was Birmingham-Bradford-London-Birminaghm.

Moments..

2006-11-27T14:12:00.000-08:00

The life is stuck in between your YES or NO, leaving everything at the cliff, hanging in the mid-air.
All the dreams were gone leaving everything wide eyed leaving the slight of hope with the mix of despire. It wasn't you, it wasn't me but still someone somewhere taking care of our dreams and putting together the broken glass.

Our destiny was same but we were following different paths because we dont want to see eachother, but you cant leave your shadow behind you.

All my wounds were healed as time passed away but still when I go back to my memories, you are always there as my shadow but then I recalled a quote that, shadows dont come when you are in the dark, and they will not leave you in the light, but I say that shadows are always with you, you just cant see them in the dark.

I went everywhere just to get you out of my mind but couldn't do it as you were not only in my mind, this thought made my life difficult.
All the promises went invain, nothing was left.

"...I'm no angel, but please don't think that I can't cry..." inspire by bat_zion

Journey

2006-11-17T15:51:00.000-08:00

I have no complains with my fate, as I already know that to get something I had to loose something and which is happening but I cant complain even if I want to. Its been a long and tiring journey where I know that I cant find any companion but still I am looking for it. During my journey I met alot of people, places and became the part of many events which helped me in finding my self. I mastered the weather, I mastered the winds, I mastered the water yet to master myself. Every moment is unaware of the next, I never wanted my journey this much full of risks making my destiny more and more difficult but in the same time making me tough, but is it really making me tough or meltimg me down?

I am neither a star nor a moon then why people become covetous, I cant steal anything from them infact they have stolen my radiance leaving me in the darkness all alone.

I have lost my peaceful sleep somewhere in the journey and yet I have dreams knocking at my door.

Should I let them in...............................?

Fun Time

2006-11-10T02:02:00.000-08:00

Finally the mids are over...ooh time to relax now...
But no, loads and loads of assignments....but I can't even complain for this as this why I am here...not to enjoy the typical english weather,,,,Ah..!

Had a nice day yesterday, started with the HR result confirmed after some mess, which had almost made sure that i haven't got through the mid, but it was a little misunderstanding which was cleared after sometime..
So the boring HR class was started and everybody went in their dreams....

The 2nd class was of xtrnl mktg...which was called off ..why.. cuz the lec asked us whether we want to have a class or not...we said no ..it was chill time...
So we decided to get something to eat and this was the worst thing as everyone was different things...and then what...we ended up on having chicken tikka and nan...
but it was damn too good with some chilli sauce n mayo....the frnd of mine....ooh what to say..she just want typical pakistani chillified thing to eat..but untill now we haven't find such kinda thing...hopefully we'll find something like this or even close to this....
So the eveing ended with some full stomach...and plans for saturday...

Post Presentation Party

2006-11-07T01:24:00.000-08:00

Our group went first..although one member of our group was missing initially but he come after 5 minutes.....so its all set to go....
we started with a few hickups....mouse not working..although we've checked it before..but this happens.....GREAT THINGS ARE ALWAYS DONE IN HICKUPS.....

In came my turn...i was pretty nice..infact no butterflies in the stomach and dryness in the mouth...and then the other group members......it was all terrefic...
The idea for going first came because we wanted to put the burden off our shoulders as soon as possible and secondly we wanted ourselves to be the trendsetters(i know its sounding a bit awkward) not the followers.....we were satisfied and were thinking around 60%....

So all groups went with their presentations....group1 was very mucch aggressive initially...but as their presentation went on...they went down too...

Group 6 was nice...everyone was impressed but unity was lacking...
Group 4 was same like group 6...no specifics..
Group 5 met with the toughest part of their luck.....no prep...no rehersals...nothing.....

The only group which we thought can give us the tough time......Group 3....
Approach was there.....technical stuff was there...skills were there....the only thing missing ...LUCK...

Finally the results came out and What...!
we got the highest 74%......Hurray...!!!!!
At first we didn't believe ...... but we had to...why..cuz..

WE WERE JUST THAT DAMN GOOD.....!

OPSMAN

2006-11-06T05:32:00.000-08:00

13:26, Lab6

Half an hour left in the opsman presentation......
Although its not that difficult but we have made it very difficult indeed and nobody knows why and how this happened as usual...
Everyone is innocent and stranger to the problems but this is usual with every other guy.....

Now dont think that I have mastered my part of the presentation....I'll be revising it after say....15 minutes...
You know last moment preparation.....I am a big fan of it...and I know that you are too..

Checked all my mails, orkut, moodle and still there is lot of time left to study that what I think so I decided to spend some time here......
I think its all done now...I mkust go back to the revision now...as they say there is always the next time ..I am saying this for the blog not for the presentation.....

Best of Luck Adeel.....x

Sunday Morning

2006-11-05T04:21:00.000-08:00

Its 12:54pm

Lying on my bed with the laptop looking through the window, all I can see are trees with the mix of brown, yellow and green leaves and dark colored branches....blue sky with the hint of sun and accompanied by the borders of grey clouds.....and dont dont forget the cool breeze making everything in the atmosphere dance....

And these thoughts came to my mind.....for my best friend

You always made me live with the one I am living with and start a new relationship everyday and live with the new things as they come along.
Before anything came between us you were my best friend, the one I used to run to whenever I had something gone wrong, whenever i needed to share something and you used to say that it will be ok and always suggested some nice things that I should do. When I come home at night and lay down my head, all I seem to think about is/was you.
It was you who made me met my life knowing the fact that it could have been you. Although I love her but then what are you to me....What should I do now...
I dont want to go now, leaving everything down the road but I also dont want to stay to see you crying, to see your eyes dreaming in the mid air.
But I really need to get it together.
The situation is getting out of control day by day. I dont want to hurt but I cant even let her go but she may not understand me this is why all of this is going on.
I tried to fight but the feelings were just too strong

Inspired n dedicated...!

Smooth Sailing

2006-10-31T01:37:00.000-08:00

Finally everything is settling in now or I have to pretend that its settling in .......whatever it is, I am assuming that its much more settled than my early days here..

HR test went fine....although its a common answer after each test:), the result will tell the whole story.....
Last moment study always pay.....this is what I think.....(but I know this is what every other student thinks...) so the test came out good...... followed by a finance class.....now this is something stupid....test and then class....

I have made some new friends here.....as they say...friends are always like minded....so i am trying to figure out that if we are friends then what is the common factor.....I am sure there must be some/any, as otherwise we wont be even talking to eachother...

Last night's samosa and pakora party was great....with some aloo bukhara chutnii...yummy yum yumm!!!!!!
I wanted to thank my friend for the treat, but then I thought that I always say..NO SORRIES & THANKS IN FRIENDS..

But I decided to say thanks, but damn....my cell's battery went down when I tried to send the sms....so I had to recharge it....and then after abt 1 hr I was able to send a sms just to thank for the nice ride home and samosas and pakoras.....forget to tell that 21st Nov is not too far away....

So looking forward to 21st Nov..........................
by the way I have marketing test coming up tomorrow...so i better do some preps.....

Today

2006-10-24T13:59:00.000-07:00

It was 10:00 pm and i was walking back home from the bus stop then i thought, why am I here.....just to walk back home alone and when you haven't really have the home, its just a place to sleep only if you are lucky enough to have it too.

Anywayzzzz,

After prayers my mate had to get the ticket as he was flying back to Pakistan in emergency....so send some time with him, going here and there for his ticket....and as usual he was having some idiotic problems....mainly lacking in resources.

Luckily he got all his problem solved and he flied to Pakistan.......

In the mean time, I stayed at home alone
answered some phone calls but they increased my desire to fly back home just to see the faces of my loved ones...
just for once but tough luck.....!!!!!!!!
but there always a next time as one of my teacher says........

so it was sofa and me with my laptop playing "What is love" from One Night At Roxbury......at the loudest volume may be to cope with my frustration of being alone on this day.......

Clouds covered the sky and it started drizzling, lasting for only 5 minutes....and the time was 5:00 pm..

I was dying to go out, to lessen up the frustration of being alone.......
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10:00 pm...way back home alone....

NO THE MEMORIES WERE ACCOMPANYING ME >>>>THUS THE WALK TO BACK HOME WAS ENDED WITH A SMILE

Eid day was over......

What is this? Truth, Future, Hate, or Confusion.

2006-10-23T14:05:00.000-07:00

Do you ever pause and wonder whether anybody cares? Do you ever think, "Does anybody understand what goes inside the real me? Does anyone know my deepest heartcries?" Do you ever wish there was somebody you could be yourself with and not have to pretend?

Do you wonder if anybody out there understand the confusion you feel, or just how hard the life can be sometimes? Especially when you look ahead to the future, -The Future?

You feel like, "Where are we heaading anyway? Seems like the world's in the fast lane - destination unknown!!" Do you ever look around, ???

Even wonder about all this when you're alone in your bed at night? Or may be when you're sitting in the class? Or at work? Or when you're struggling just to make it though another day?

May be you'd rather not think about it. You don't have time or you don't have the answers and it seems easier to keep going and keep putting it out of your mind. Yet deep down inside you can't quite shake the feeling of "What's wrong with this picture, anyway?

Ever feel lost sometimes? Or confused, lonely, frustrated, scared? But you can't let on to anybody,- That wouldn't be cool, right?
Then again, cool or not cool, you still have these moments and you don't know what to do about it.

So you try to be happy and have a good time with your friends. But the things you think will make you happy just don't fill that empty feeling deep inside of you....

Do you ever imagine what it's like for a guy or a girl your age who lives on the other side of the world? Lifestyles are at such extremes! some folks are flying high, racing down the information highway, surfing cyber space while others are sweating it out in the fields, slaving away.....

Do you ever had those times when you wish you could just stop the world and get off?

Do you ever wonder about the other guy? Is he happy or is he same as you? Does he or she have the same fears and tears, thoughts and feelings as you? Do you ask yourself whether he or she really understands you and cares about you?

Do you ever feel like the world is jam packed with so many voices, so many people talking, talking, talking, but you can't quite figure out what they're saying? You hear someone say that they know the answers, but thy don't seem any happier than you are. Deep down they're just as you are. So who's to know? Is there anything that can heel the heartache you feel inside?

Is there something that you can hold on to, something solid, something that can save your dying spirirt before it fades away into oblivion?..........

Her first sight.....

2006-10-23T13:43:00.000-07:00

When I enter

saw her uneven hair

resting on her shoulders

eyes so deep, filled like an ocean

with a slim smile at her lips

she welcomed me

with the pink satin shimmering in her black coat

covering her sheer elegance in the executive class

and when she turned

her hair danced at her shoulders and fall around her cheeks

with her pendant and earrings accompanied

bracelets wriggled and blue watch shined

taking m out of my dreams

asking where were I...

and then come the time to depart

the ultimate journey we are here for